Hoop

[Rik Jungmann]

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was also
under consideration. The United Kingdom conceded that English spelling had
some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase in a plan that
will
be known as "EuroEnglish".

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in
favour of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome “ph” will be replased with the “f”. This will make words like
“fotograf” 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always
ben a
deterent to akurate spelling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
the silent “e”s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the 4th year, peopl wil be resetiv to steps such as replasing “th” with
“z” and “w” with “v”.

During zis fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be droped from the vords
kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve wil have a reli sensibl riten styl. Zar vil be no
mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!! And zen ve vil take over ze vorld.

Er is nog hoop voor Europa...

Rik

rik.jungmann at wxs.nl