[D66] A Kingly Proposal: Letter from Julian Assange to King Charles III

[René Oudeweg]

declassifieduk.org
A Kingly Proposal: Letter from Julian Assange to King Charles III
Julian Assange
5–6 minutes

To His Majesty King Charles III,

On the coronation of my liege, I thought it only fitting to extend a 
heartfelt invitation to you to commemorate this momentous occasion by 
visiting your very own kingdom within a kingdom: His Majesty’s Prison 
Belmarsh.

You will no doubt recall the wise words of a renowned playwright: “The 
quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from 
heaven upon the place beneath.”

Ah, but what would that bard know of mercy faced with the reckoning at 
the dawn of your historic reign? After all, one can truly know the 
measure of a society by how it treats its prisoners, and your kingdom 
has surely excelled in that regard.

Your Majesty’s Prison Belmarsh is located at the prestigious address of 
One Western Way, London, just a short foxhunt from the Old Royal Naval 
College in Greenwich. How delightful it must be to have such an esteemed 
establishment bear your name.

     “One can truly know the measure of a society by how it treats its 
prisoners”

It is here that 687 of your loyal subjects are held, supporting the 
United Kingdom’s record as the nation with the largest prison population 
in Western Europe. As your noble government has recently declared, your 
kingdom is currently undergoing “the biggest expansion of prison places 
in over a century”, with its ambitious projections showing an increase 
of the prison population from 82,000 to 106,000 within the next four 
years. Quite the legacy, indeed.

As a political prisoner, held at Your Majesty’s pleasure on behalf of an 
embarrassed foreign sovereign, I am honoured to reside within the walls 
of this world class institution. Truly, your kingdom knows no bounds.

During your visit, you will have the opportunity to feast upon the 
culinary delights prepared for your loyal subjects on a generous budget 
of two pounds per day. Savour the blended tuna heads and the ubiquitous 
reconstituted forms that are purportedly made from chicken. And worry 
not, for unlike lesser institutions such as Alcatraz or San Quentin, 
there is no communal dining in a mess hall. At Belmarsh, prisoners dine 
alone in their cells, ensuring the utmost intimacy with their meal.

Beyond the gustatory pleasures, I can assure you that Belmarsh provides 
ample educational opportunities for your subjects. As Proverbs 22:6 has 
it: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he 
will not depart from it.” Observe the shuffling queues at the medicine 
hatch, where inmates gather their prescriptions, not for daily use, but 
for the horizon-expanding experience of a “big day out”—all at once.

You will also have the opportunity to pay your respects to my late 
friend Manoel Santos, a gay man facing deportation to Bolsonaro’s 
Brazil, who took his own life just eight yards from my cell using a 
crude rope fashioned from his bedsheets. His exquisite tenor voice now 
silenced forever.

Venture further into the depths of Belmarsh and you will find the most 
isolated place within its walls: Healthcare, or “Hellcare” as its 
inhabitants lovingly call it. Here, you will marvel at sensible rules 
designed for everyone’s safety, such as the prohibition of chess, whilst 
permitting the far less dangerous game of checkers.

     “My late friend Manoel Santos…took his own life just eight yards 
from my cell”

Deep within Hellcare lies the most gloriously uplifting place in all of 
Belmarsh, nay, the whole of the United Kingdom: the sublimely named 
Belmarsh End of Life Suite. Listen closely, and you may hear the 
prisoners’ cries of “Brother, I’m going to die in here”, a testament to 
the quality of both life and death within your prison.

But fear not, for there is beauty to be found within these walls. Feast 
your eyes upon the picturesque crows nesting in the razor wire and the 
hundreds of hungry rats that call Belmarsh home. And if you come in the 
spring, you may even catch a glimpse of the ducklings laid by wayward 
mallards within the prison grounds. But don’t delay, for the ravenous 
rats ensure their lives are fleeting.

I implore you, King Charles, to visit His Majesty’s Prison Belmarsh, for 
it is an honour befitting a king. As you embark upon your reign, may you 
always remember the words of the King James Bible: “Blessed are the 
merciful, for they shall obtain mercy” (Matthew 5:7). And may mercy be 
the guiding light of your kingdom, both within and without the walls of 
Belmarsh.

Your most devoted subject,

Julian Assange

A9379AY

Read more about Julian Assange and King Charles.